Goodbye 2016..

I mentioned in my last post that I had been sick for two weeks. Well two weeks turned into a month and a half. I bit the bullet and finally went to see my doctor after huffing, puffing, and wheezing through my runs, teaching classes, and walking up stairs. Enough was enough. My doctor took one listen to my lungs and told me I had pneumonia and a bad sinus infection! Say again!? So flashing forward after two rounds of steriods, antibiotics, and a week of cough syrup I was feeling somewhat "normal" again. Just in time for the end of the year chaos. My daughter had a zillion events planned.. Literally a zillion! And my son decided to sneak in one last cold virus of 2016 just to keep me on my toes. My husband's job decided "hey guess what? We are selling you guys" leaving us to question will we be able to afford our brand new home and two private schools? Who knows! Meanwhile, I managed to successfully wrap up a wonderful semester of teaching 2 courses and after taking a 10 month hiatus from being on the bike, I returned to the front of the spin class at my dear friend's brand new studio. Good news right?!
2016 was brutal.. Down right ugly. True, we sold a home and bought an upgrade to accommodate our growing "stuff", my daughter had a very successful first semester of first grade and we learned she is extremely bright. However, she is still a smart mouthed, moody, 6 yr old that just wants her space and more shopkins (they are a horrible phneomenon). My son ... God love him. My sweet sweet boy has turned into THAT TWO YEAR OLD. The two year old that throws things, that will tackle you, that will scream NOOOOOO, but mean yes (I'm tired or yes I am hungry) and cry and cry and cry. But is so darn cute that we forget in minuets that he is terrible. And my husband, dealing with his own personal struggles and me.. Anxiety, lonliness, clueless, exhausted, sometimes down right miserable still finding time to run. Run to escape, running to live, running to think, running to be me. I need that.. The run. The workout, the tiredness and soreness, the process.
I'm looking forward to 2017. I never liked change, but I live in a house with growing humans in constant change and find myself secretly wishing "when is this ___ going to end? When is she/he going to change their ___?"
So goodbye 2016.. You kinda sucked, but yes the cliche is true.. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and I am so so so much stronger than I was.
Happy New Year!

Bad case of the Monday's..

Ughhhhh... This look on my face is exactly how I've been feeling for about two weeks or so.. So much not so good stuff has been spiraling down and out of control. It started with the 2016 election and my extreme disappointment in the results. It was a painful and sad couple days for me. I felt depleted of energy and motivation. My workouts and my runs truly suffered. I managed to barely get 10 miles for the whole week when I'm used to logging close to 20 or 25 when I'm not in training. I struggled to teach my classes and my students could definitely tell and see my sadness. At the end of last week I felt sick, literally. Sore throat, stuffy nose, headache, the works. I was sick all weekend and still recovering but yet still trying to run and teach even though I could hardly talk due to the laryngitis. My kids came down with colds and their colds turned into asthma flares. I know my husband means well, but when it comes to caretaking he is a chicken with his head cut off and leaving me to still accomplish all the house and (sick) kid goals. But I'm a mom, I do it all, right?
Usually my son is home with me on Monday's but my daughter was so ill that I kept her home too. It was a long day. I felt like crap. Children don't care if You're sick and their demands are always more important. It was an incredibly bad case of the Monday's.
Just to add to the mess and not something I usually talk or write about is my anxiety. I have general anxiety disorder. I developed it in my twenties. I go through periods of stability and calm and bouts of horrific and unexplainable fear and anxiety. Lately, my highway anxiety has been on the rise. Leaving me feeling hopeless and disappointed in myself. There are still certain areas of highway I can drive but some I absolutely can't and so I take alternative routes which add time and stress of being in a car. Pittsburgh is a crazy city with twists and turns. I find it overwhelming when I'm not driving! I know that it will pass and ill go back to cruising carelessly again and not intensely death gripping the steering wheel. I also know that my sick kids will get better and so will I. Lastly, although I am heartbroken with the election results, I know I am surrounded by amazing and empowering women everyday and I will be alive (God willing) to witness a woman at the Head of State one day. More importantly I will continue to teach my daughter (and my son) the values and morals that will make them good people in our diverse society... So here's to Monday's for giving me the perspective.

Inner self, outer self..

I don't consider myself as someone who LOVES Halloween. I remember definitely enjoying it as a kid, but as a grumpy and tired adult I am unmotivated to make the effort. Since having kids, I've found my enjoyment for dressing up in something ridiculous for a couple hours to be returning. My kids have so much fun at Halloween! They would wear costumes everyday all day if they could. I've made the excuse to not join in the festivities by saying "well, I'm just going to be myself because everyday I'm someone different anyway". This year, I threw on a pair of mini mouse ears per request of my son who loves mini mouse so that we could attend my daughter's fall fest costume school party. Easy enough, it was basically a head band. But while strolling through Walgreens one more time to grab extra candy I spotted a very simple "nerd" costume. Bingo! Glasses, a bowtie, and suspenders. Done! I thought of how this simple costume is somewhat reflective of who I am underneath the athlete, the instructor, the wife, and mother. I'm so not cool. Lol! Truly, I enjoy staying home watching Golden Girls or reading a book. When I'm not dressing to teach in front of college kids or being social at my kid's fancy schools I'm seriously wearing mix matched everything and layered! Yes yes .. The argument of "just be who you are all the time blah blah". Seriously how realistic is that? I like all my many "faces" that I wear. It allows me to constantly embrace change within myself. When I'm at home with no kids or husband around its so nice to relax and take a moment to just chill and be me. So this Halloween was a good one because my inner self was finally feeling cool 😎..
Cheers!

Rest day

I went with a friend yesterday to a different fitness class. I rarely get to take other instructors classes because of my own teaching and running schedule. The class was a HIIT Barre class and WOW it was fun and I am so sore today!! I had a short morning run planned but when I woke up I felt a lot of tightness in my legs and feet. So I opted for a semi rest morning to recover and drink a little more electrolyte water (and coffee). Rest days are not easy for me especially when I've already mentally prepared for a workout. I've really been tuning in to what my body has been telling me lately. Mostly because the older I get (37!) the faster I get injured or fatigued. Later today ill take my son for a walk and then I teach a double aerobics class tonight. For now, I'm pretty happy hanging out in my pjs watching Mickey Mouse with my favorite 2 year old. The workout can wait 😊

Running errands.. Literally.

The last two days my 2 year old son has been dealing with an asthma flare. He's been on around the clock nebulizer treatments but we decided he needed more. Today, I needed to run, but I also needed to pick up more meds for my boy. So, I ran to my errands. It made perfect sense. I did a 4 mile easy loop and 1 mile to and back from the pharmacy getting in a little over 5 miles total. The truth about mother hood is that it is 24 hours.. There is no break. My kids are always my first thought but fitness is generally my second. My biggest struggle has been finding balance and finding "me" time. I'm working on that and getting better. I compromise with myself a lot. At the end of the day the health of my children always tops whatever I have going on that day. But I do acknowledge that if I don't take care of myself first, I am no good to them.
Sonny is going to be fine :)
He is strong willed and a fighter! ❤

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Light reading and coffee

It's really rainy outside today.. I'd rather be curled up under blankets, but I know my daughter's bus will arrive any moment. So I'm reading up on some health and fitness articles. It's always good to stay in the loop! I also decided to take a rest day. Feeling fatigued and sore after this past week. So today is filled with fuzzy slippers and electrolyte water 👍😉